Thursday, March 13, 2008

USA TODAY - the original postcard

Seth Rogen and I have been helping USA Today sell papers or something. So the link is their edited version of the following text. Here's the original: 

When you make a movie called "Zack & Miri Make A Porno," journalists who like to think they are clever (that's all of them, it goes without saying) will invariably ask, "did you do any research for the role (wink-wink)?" They want to know if I watched porn to prepare. Or rather, they want me to say that I did so they can print something slightly scandalous. I'm sorry for them that the only extra research I did to prepare for playing Miri was of a much more wholesome variety. 

I learned to knit. And "pearl" too! That' insider knitting lingo. I should know. I did the research. See, Miri is a knitter. So I met a friend, a master knitter, at a Studio City yarn store where we picked out yarn and needles. I chatted with the girls who work there since Miri works at a yarn kiosk in a mall. They had a lot of opinions concerning what somebody's first project should be - they thought it was very ambitious of me to consider a scarf. A little while later at a Hollywood coffee shop, my friend helped me to "cast on" and I've been knitting ever since. My first scarf was a bit of a mess but that's also very Miri-like since she's not supposed to be very good at anything. But, oh, my second scarf! It's a masterpiece in wool! 

As for the porn, let's just say I didn't go out of my way to learn anything new about it. We live in a pretty sexed-up society. Paris Hilton got famous in amateur pornography. CBS is broadcasting a couples version of "Big Brother" with lots of action between the sheets, shot in night-vision. The governor of New York just got caught paying a female escort. People are fornicating all over the place. I already knew this. The worst thing an actor can do is judge the character they play. Who am I to judge a coupla down-on-their-luck misfits who decide to pursue an offshoot of the oldest profession, especially since, in their words, "they already know how to do it?" No research necessary.